As you may know, this October was declared “Anti-Bullying Awareness Month” because of the recent high rate of suicides among young people due to cyber-bullying. I was watching the news and was horrified to hear the stories of people such as Tyler Clementi taking their own lives due to their peers abusing the internet in order to bully them. Not all cyber-bullying is as visible to the public as the video that was posted of Tyler Clementi, but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous. With Facebook, texting, instant messaging, Twitter, and a number of other social networks easily accessible to people of all ages, teenagers and even younger children have the capability to say whatever they want to whomever at the push of a button. This form of bullying can be even more dangerous than a physical encounter with a bully because people will very often say things online that they wouldn’t be able to say to a person’s face.
It is completely normal to want to fit in with your peers and feel accepted, but some people value popularity too highly and will put others down if it means getting to the top. There are certain social stereotypes such as being pretty, funny, or athletic that seem to make a person more “socially acceptable” in middle school and high school. Once a person feels like they do not fit into these stereotypes, their self confidence slowly deteriorates and they would give anything to just feel like they belong. But often times, those people who deem themselves the more “socially acceptable” will cut others down and make sure that they feel like they are not good enough in order to try to make themselves look good and remain the “popular” ones. Many experts believe that bullying is actually a sign of a person with major insecurities, but that is no excuse for them to treat others as if they are lesser beings. This combination of teens with an already negative self-image and peers that prey on pointing out the flaws of others causes a dangerous situation to arise. Add a computer into the mix, and it gets even worse.
If there is one concept that you take away from reading this blog post, I want it to be tolerance: tolerance for people’s differences, tolerance for what you don’t understand, tolerance for the identities of the people around you. We all have things that we would like to change about ourselves because nobody is perfect, but those imperfections are a part of your identity that you should embrace rather than try to hide. You are going to encounter people in your lifetime that will say things to you for the sole purpose of making you look bad and making themselves look good. I wish that we could make everybody see the importance of tolerance, but unfortunately not everybody will listen, and we can’t make them. But what we can do is try to stop criticizing ourselves; and even more importantly, try to ignore those who criticize us. I know that is much easier said than done, but it is a challenge that I hope you will all take on.
If you are in a situation where somebody is bullying you to the point that ignoring them seems impossible, remember that you are not alone. Here are some places that you can turn to for help:
http://www.samaritans.org/
http://metanoia.org/suicide/
http://www.wahijournal.org/?p=2479
I think one thing that everyone needs to realize is that everyone is a bully at some time in their life. Now obviously we all dont fit in with the stereotypical bullies, but we all do our fair share of making fun of other kids and talking behind people's backs. These are actual examples of bullying, now obviously not as bad as it gets, but it is still bullying. We all fall victim to this, myself included. Alot of the time we dont even realize what we are doing and that we are hurting another person, which, in the long run, can be even more dangerous. On a different note, I completely agree with what you said about the basis of bullying. Kids today believe that being popular is the most coveted accomplishment a teen can achieve. Well here is a news flash for you...ITS NOT! Being deemed as a "popular kid" holds no backing to it. The actual definition of popular is: •regarded with great favor, approval, or affection especially by the general public. I can assure you that this definition does not fit most of the kids we deem as "popular." These kids are, alot of the time, mean, backstabbing, do not care about others outside of their group, fake, and a whole assortment of other negative descriptive words. The kids we think to be popular are actually the opposite. If popularity is being the "cool kid" well then thats a different story, but if popularity is about being the kid that is well liked and well respected, then you are looking in the wrong group of kids. Being popular is not what it is cut out to be. Alli you know where I'm coming from when I say that. The stress and all the expectations of being someone that everyone looks to is not something that most people want. So my advice, dont strive to be the popular kid, just be yourself because not only will you be happier in the end, but you will be much better off. Just accept who you are and who your friends are and dont try to change to fit in, you will fit in no matter what. As for bullying, if you are being bullied, dont keep it in the dark. You need to bring it out and talk about it so that you dont let it all build up inside of you because that never leads to good things. Be yourself and if you stay true to that you will be happy for the rest of your life.
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