Happiness: What is it to you?

Every Tuesday night at seven o’clock, I go into my basement and turn on the CW to watch One Tree Hill, a favorite television program of mine. I like watching this show because it’s full of drama, both good and bad, and it lets me escape to an alternate world for an hour. Usually, once it’s over I go back upstairs into reality to finish my homework and head to bed. However, this past Tuesday I was left with a quote in my head that has been stuck there until now. One of the characters, Julian, said to his fiancé,

“I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking someday we’ll be happy, that we’ll get that job or that car or that person in our lives that will fix everything. But happiness is a mood. And it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry. It’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel that if people thought of it that way they’d find happiness a lot more often.”

This quote really stood out to me because it’s something that I had never really thought about before. But, once I started thinking about it, I realized that the way that you view something as seemingly simply as happiness can largely affect your identity.

Something in the Distance
People who view happiness as a destination are often very ambitious because they are trying to accomplish some far off goal that will ultimately bring them happiness. However, this ambition often overshadows the small victories that this person makes along the way, depriving them of the little joys in life. These people are usually in a rush to get certain “unpleasant” aspects of their lives over with, but they forget to stop and be thankful for every moment of their time on Earth.

Going With the Flow
People who view happiness as a condition or mood are usually more easygoing and have an easier time accepting change or hard times because they know that they will find happiness again. These people are good at finding the silver lining in situations that may seem hopeless. Often times, viewing happiness as a condition rather than a destination allows for the enjoyment of every day, rather than wishing to pass over precious time just because you are waiting for something great to happen.

Where Am I?
I don’t believe that there are many people in the world that strictly fit into one category or the other. We all have our moments when we forget to enjoy the time we have because we are looking forward to something else. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious; you just need to remember not to let the road to accomplishing a goal get in the way of noticing the other great things that happen to you along the way. Viewing happiness as a condition isn’t an extremely difficult thing to do if you consciously try. My challenge for you this week is to be aware of the way you view happiness, and try to think of it as a condition that comes and goes, not something to strive for someday. In the words of Julian, if you can do this, you will “find happiness a lot more often.”

If you still find yourself struggling to be happy, check out this blog post by Gretchen Rubin about 10 Common Happiness Mistakes.