Monkey See, Monkey Do

I tend to be a bit of a people-watcher. So, as I sat in church this morning, I looked around me and observed the other people in the room. I noticed that there were a lot of families sitting in the pews, many of which were obviously related because the kids looked like miniature versions of their parents. However, there was one blonde, curly-haired little girl that stood out to me. She was sitting with who I presumed to be her mother, father, and two older brothers, all of whom had straight, dark hair. I know there are many genetic explanations for how this little girl ended up looking so different from the rest of her family, or that she could be adopted, or perhaps not even a member of that family at all; but in my imagination she was the daughter of the man and woman in front of me and I was perplexed by her outward appearance. At that point, although I should have been paying attention to the sermon and for that I am sorry, I began to think that even though she may not look like her parents, maybe she has her mother’s laugh, or her father’s love for sports, or a number of other non-visible traits she could have inherited from them. One thought led to another and eventually I started to think about how profound an effect parents have on the people that their children turn out to be, whether they mean to or not.

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I am currently reading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver in my twelfth-grade English class. The parents in this story are Nathan and Orleanna Price, a reverend from Georgia and his timid wife. They have four daughters, all of whom are very different and are affected by their parents in their own ways. The daughter most obviously affected by them is one of their twins, Leah. Leah is the most religious of all the daughters because she idolizes her father and knows how dear his religion is to him. She follows Nathan around and wants nothing more than his approval. When Nathan asks Leah a question that she doesn’t know the answer to, she gets very down on herself and thinks, “If only I could ever bring forth all that I knew quickly enough to suit father” (37). Nathan never praises Leah, yet she feels the constant need to please him. This is clear when she says, “I know that someday, when I’ve grown large enough in the Holy Spirit, I will have his wholehearted approval” (42). Although Nathan is rarely loving or kind to Leah, she looks up to him because he is constantly imposing his views and values upon his family, while Orleanna sits back and lets him take control. Nathan is rude and controlling towards Orleanna, so as their daughters observe their interactions, they learn to accept that their father is in charge. Although Orleanna doesn’t seem to affect Leah as much as Nathan because Leah doesn’t worship her, by not setting a good example of how to be an independent and strong woman, she teaches Leah that it is okay to live her life the way a man tells her to.

Especially at a young age, children are very impressionable and will often mimic whatever examples are set for them. If a child is brought up in a home where they are exposed to violence or their parents are going through a crisis such as a divorce, this can alter the way that they look at life and possibly lead to a more violent future. It is the parents' job to do their best to be good role models for their children, but not to force them to be something that they’re not. Nathan doesn’t accept that there is any way to live life other than to be a devout Christian, so he shoves his beliefs down the throats of his family and expects them to obey his every command. It is important for children to have guidelines for how they should behave, but once you try to tell them who they should be, you could be permanently tampering with their identity.